Loud, shiny, and critic-proof, this franchise launcher is basically Transformers minus the humanity.
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08/20/09
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
26
%
Tomatometer
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Reviews Counted:23
Fresh:6
Rotten:17
Average Rating:3.9/10
Consensus: While fans of the Hasbro toy franchise may revel in a bit of nostalgia, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is largely a cartoonish, over-the-top action fest propelled by silly writing, inconsistent visual effects, and merely passable performances.
Theatrical Release:Aug 7, 2009 Wide
Box Office: $150,167,630
Synopsis: Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster “TRANSFORMERS,” join forces with Spyglass Entertainment for another extraordinary action-adventure “G.I.... [More]
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans
Director: Stephen Sommers
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Reviews for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Top Critic[Director] Sommers did the first two chaotic Mummy remakes; those play like Tender Mercies compared to this one.
08/14/09
Top CriticAfter a first hour that plays like a bad TV show, Sommers hits his groove with an over-the-top Paris chase sequence that, in turn, leads to an underwater finale that’s absurdly overproduced, momentarily diverting, and then instantly forgettable.
08/12/09
Top CriticSometimes, a film defies conventional narrative and artistic standards so utterly that it seems unfair to judge it by them.... Consider this a tone poem in 40 scraps of dialogue.
08/11/09
Top CriticThis pricey, juiceless pulp could never have been killed by critics, simply because it was already dead.
08/11/09
Top CriticOK, it's seriously deficient in plot or acting. But in this genre, those two ingredients are as superfluous as canoes in a desert.
08/11/09
Top CriticI could load you up with more plot details, but this mercilessly incoherent, galactically stupid movie left me too numb to type.
08/11/09
Top CriticThere's an expectation that the audience will be invested in the relationship between Duke and Ana, but the poor writing and lack of chemistry between the principals fails to sell the romance as anything more substantial than a weak plot element.
08/11/09
Top CriticG.I. Joe is a loud but proficient slab of explode-o-rama summer blockbuster nonsense, perfectly entertaining if you like that sort of thing, extremely skippable if you don’t.
08/11/09
Top CriticThe new G.I. Joe movie cost $175-million (U.S.) to make and is as cluttered as a nine-year-old's bedroom.
08/10/09
Top CriticIt is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence.
08/09/09
Top CriticBasically, the Joes are not bad, it's just that they could have been much better with a little less conversation, a little more action.
08/07/09
Top CriticG.I. Joe is like watching fireworks with a blindfold on: it's deafening and you feel under attack.
08/07/09
Top CriticIt’s enjoyable enough while it’s speeding along. Like the Joes themselves, the movie succeeds by simply crashing headfirst through every obstacle.
08/07/09
Top CriticG.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is as polished and entertaining as war-mongering toy commercials get.
08/07/09
Top CriticSure, big dumb fun can be big dumb fun, but Sommers goes beyond the "more is more" modus operandi and launches into "too much is never enough" territory.
08/07/09
Top CriticA movie that's more sci-fi than semper fi -- and possibly the most proudly mindless epic of the year.
08/07/09
Top CriticNot that the characters matter, because the screenwriters and director Stephen Sommers are determined to mainly deliver one high-octane, heavily CGI-laden action set piece after another, to ultimately deadening effect.
08/07/09
Top CriticIt is possible that never before in the annals of cinema has so much destruction been depicted on screen to so little purpose, unless you count brain or ear damage.
08/07/09
Top CriticThe only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute.
08/07/09
Top CriticLatest News for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
December 02, 2009:
RT on DVD: G.I. Joe. Public Enemies, Ice Age 3
More...
December 01, 2009:
Win G.I. Joe Prize Packs
To mark this week's release of the action hit G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra on DVD and Blu-ray, Paramount and Rotten Tomatoes are giving you the chance to win one of these movie prize... More...
November 02, 2009:
RT on DVD: G.I. Joe, Rocky, and Christmas Classics
This week, another Hasbro toy franchise's debut hits DVD, as well as a modern remake of a suspenseful thriller, a couple of classics, a doc on the food industry, a couple of... More...
October 27, 2009:
Speedy DVD Release for G.I. Joe Angers Theaters 
Continuing a trend that has seen the major studios tinkering with established post-theatrical release trends, Paramount will release "G.I. Joe" to DVD on November 3, a little... More...
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