[orchard blues]

Formed in 1999 by Joel Silver, Gilbert Adler and Robert Zemeckis, Dark Castle Entertainment was initially made with the intention to remake the films of William Castle. However, the plan only lasted for two films and then they branched out with just producing original (well, kind of) horror flicks with no connection to Castle at all, usually released every Halloween season.

Nearly all the films have been panned by critics, and in some cases rightfully so, but there have been a couple that have risen above the rest. If anything even the bad ones are entertaining in a B-movie way, but if they would've chosen better directors maybe things would have turned out a lot differently. Since I have not seen Whiteout, The Reaping, Ninja Assassin or RocknRolla , they will not be included. However, the rest will be reviewed in order of their release date.

This is being done out of boredom, and I guess because I just recently gave Orphan another watch, while I'm also currently watching House on Haunted Hill on AMC before I go to work.

So here we go...

[Death Proof]

Cool idea. I like a lot of the Dark Castle films and I'm a big fan of William Castle's flicks.

[jeevo]

I'll admit to being a huge fan of House on Haunted Hill, Thir13en Ghosts, Ghost Ship, and House of Wax.

These are the only Dark Castle films I've seen by the way. Maybe I should check out their other films since I enjoy them so much.

[Death Proof]

Originally Posted by jeevo

I'll admit to being a huge fan of House on Haunted Hill, Thir13en Ghosts, Ghost Ship, and House of Wax.

These are the only Dark Castle films I've seen by the way. Maybe I should check out their other films since I enjoy them so much.

Loved Shalhoub in 13 Ghosts but Geoffrey Rush was ****ing AWESOME in House on Haunted Hill. He's like a twisted combination of James Woods and Vincent Price. I can watch that movie over and over again just for him.

[orchard blues]

House on Haunted Hill

Rating as a film: +1/2
Guilty pleasure rating: ++
Tomatometer: 24%

Dark Castle Entertainment's first release was the remake of the Vincent Price shlock flick House on Haunted Hill. Truth be told it had a ton of potential, but was unfortunately given over to the hand of director William Malone. I don't know if the film was intentionally supposed to be silly, but if not Malone has no sense of how to really direct true horror, relying on phony looking gore, jump scares, and too much special effects, rather then keeping things subtle and creepy. Which is unfortunate, as HoHH is ultimately a wasted opportunity. With that said, House on Haunted Hill still has it's share of creepy moments, occasionally bordering on just plain chilling. A sequence involving the blondie wannabe actress exploring the basement with a video camera, and what she finds is still scary to me just to think about it. Then there's of course a sequence involving Geofory Rush (in a deliciously hammy performance, probably the main highlight of the entire film) being put in the vault for the insane which soon turns into a sequence of nightmarish proportions is also supremely creepy. But the film is soon undone by the cliche characters, the lack of any true scares (save for the previously mentioned two sequences), horrible dialogue, and the just plain stupid finale (Chris Kattan's ghost saves the day!, my lord.) Some of the cast is appealing and do what they can with the material, Rush and Famke Jensen's (who is pretty sexy here I must say) constant bickering is somewhat entertaining. but this is probably one of Dark Castle's worst productions, and yet it's still somewhat of a guilty pleasure if I'm going to be honest.


(For a creepier film dealing with an abandoned asylum, check out Session 9, now THAT'S some creepy stuff.)

[Death Proof]

House on Haunted Hill - 8/10 (bonus 2 points for Geoffrey Rush kicking all kinds of ass)

I forgot about Chris Kattan, but oddly enough it was probably my favorite performance from him in anything. He was perfect as the whiny, pessimistic caretaker.

[William Blake]

The House on Haunted Hill remake is awful. The original is one of the great horror films of all time, however.

[Eternity]

The Reaping and Whiteout are supposed to be two of the worst films the studio has ever produced, while Ninja Assassin and RockNRolla are pretty decent. I haven't seen Whiteout or Ninja Assassin though.

[orchard blues]

Originally Posted by Eternity

The Reaping and Whiteout are supposed to be two of the worst films the studio has ever produced, while Ninja Assassin and RockNRolla are pretty decent. I haven't seen Whiteout or Ninja Assassin though.

Whiteout looks bland as hell. I might check out Ninja Assassin though.

[TokenGayPoster]

Looking through their catalog, I realized I've seen almost all of their films and remember maybe one scene from each.

[orchard blues]

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Film score: ++1/2
Guilty pleasure rating: ++1/2
Tomatometer: 13%

As soon as I saw the theatrical poster while seeing some movie with my dad, I was instantly stoked for Thir13en Ghosts. I was 11 then, and my parents were pretty strict about the movies I watched. But since they were finally divorced, I knew I could get my dad to take me as long as I let him drink later that night. Kind of a sad agreement, but it worked, and he took me to see it opening weekend. But even before that, I would visit the website frequently, read all the backstories on all the ghosts, have nightmares that would wake me up in a cold sweat, and I hadn't even seen it yet. I still remember that tv spot where the voice over says in a sinister tone "13 Ghosts has been rated R for horror violence, gore, nudity, and some language. You've been warned." I was giddy. Then the time finally came, and the theater had a nifty set up where the theater playing the movie was decorated with various (probably 13) ghosts hanging everywhere, it was pretty cool, like I was about to enter a fun house.
Now being an 11 year old with a huge imagination, at the time 13 Ghosts scared the bejeesus out of me. Of course I hadn't been introduced to better films yet, especially in the horror genre, but I was huddled up in a ball, hiding my face more than a few times. And because I hadn't been exposed to better cinema I was oblivious to its flaws.
On a filmmaking standpoint I'd have to say that 13 Ghosts is an improvement over House on Haunted Hill, despite it's many flaws. First of all, the production design is breathtaking, the glass house which our protagonists and ghosties get locked in an awe inspiring sight. Then their are the ghosts themselves, who still scare the **** out of me now. If the slightest thought of The Jackel or the Juggernaut enters my mind while falling asleep, I simply have to put the light on. These are just plain frightening suckers. For most of the run time there actually is quite a bit of suspense and a few great scares, simply because the ghosts are just so hellish to behold, and once they are let lose... well... all you can say is 'they are f-u-c-k-e-d'.
The film loses steam in it's finale, just like House on Haunted Hill did, once F. Murray Abrahams and Embeth Davidtz are brought into the equation. And I'm not trying to say that this is some classic modern horror, but again the ghosts are just plain freaky, and the glass house is amazing and never gets old to just admire.
I definitely prefer Thir13en Ghosts over House on Haunted Hill, if anything just for the lawyer split scene "Is that half the lawyer?He sure looks better!"

[orchard blues]

Originally Posted by TokenGayPoster

Looking through their catalog, I realized I've seen almost all of their films and remember maybe one scene from each.

Yeah, no matter how ****ty their films might be in some peoples opinion, there is always at least one knock out sequence.

[Unreliable Narrator]

Wow, I don't often see love for Thir13en Ghosts. Hugely underrated film.

[Baron von Blanc]

I just rewatched House on Haunted Hill after reading that. It's a guilty pleasure for me. Shame about that ink monster at the end, however.

[Artie Abrams]

I like RocknRolla quite a bit, but otherwise, the studio sounds like a bit of a failure. Ninja Assassin looks like a lot of fun though.

[Orcrist]

I can just save you the trouble all together right now.

ALL OF DARK CASTLE'S MOVIES SUCK!

Next to Dimensions they are one of the worst sub-studio production companies that can't make a decent horror movie to save their lives.

[Death Proof]

I like House on Haunted Hill.

[Pirate Steve]

I enjoyed House on the Haunted Hill, not so much a fan of Thirteen Ghost though.

[waterwizard2005]

Hated 13 ghosts. Saw it in the theater. I guess at one time I didn't really choose films to go see at the theater the same way that I do now. I just went to see whatever was playing. Thank goodness I came to my senses.

Ghost Ship got the nasty right, and that's a compliment. Ghost Ship was entertaining just for the visuals' sake.

[Omega Tom Hanks]

13 Ghosts with Shaloub is a major guilty pleasure, back when it was released I managed to get all my friends and myself into for free by uttering the words "Farrarh, we know Shane."

[Orcrist]

House on Haunted Hill was kind of decent, but it was still a horrible movie. I wanted to see more of the kick ass looking asylum-house... but NO!, I wanted a 3rd act... but NO!, I wanted ghosts that didn't look like they had schizophrenia, Attention Deficit Disorder, and a sugar rush attack and where designed by Dr. Frankenfurter's (from The Rocky Horror Picture Show), Marilyn Manson's, and Rob Zombie's bastard love child... but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And I wanted a better ending that was more satisfying than, what I've come to call, "Attack of the Rorschach". And I've also come to the point where whenever I see Bridgette Wilson on screen I just want to slam her in the face with a baseball bat and kick her in the privates with razor-sharp-spiked baseball cleats; I can't stand this fucking woman whenever I see her on screen for any movie I unintentionally see her in.

Oh, yea, Ghost Ship was unimaginably stupid beyond all reason. I dug the concept of a haunted ship, since you don't generally hear or see a lot of ghost movies taking place on ghost ships in the ocean, generally it's haunted houses that get the bigger billing. But Bob Peck really has a streak to make some of the worst-looking-and-sounding ghost movies I've seen. Thank God I didn't fall for seeing Thir13en Ghosts after learning my lesson from Ghost Ship. Until I saw The Reaping which I had to do a review for my college newspaper and it was, again a movie with a good premise, but was insanely stupid beyond all reason. Luckily, I haven't succumbed to the temptation of wanting to see Gothika or House of Wax.

Keep in mind, I enjoy guilty pleasures and popcorn movies, but none of the movies Dark Castle has made were even at the level of me being able to have fun with them; they are insulting to the horror genre.

[orchard blues]

Originally Posted by Orcrist

I can just save you the trouble all together right now.

ALL OF DARK CASTLE'S MOVIES SUCK!

Next to Dimensions they are one of the worst sub-studio production companies that can't make a decent horror movie to save their lives.

Orphan is great.

[orchard blues]

Ghost Ship

My score: +
Guilty pleasure score: (-) meaning nothing
Tomatometer: 13%

It's hard to give Ghost Ship a real review since I've only seen it once when it first came out on DVD, and I barely remember it, so this one is going to be short. Abandoned ships are creepy as it is, haunted or not, and the premise was filled with potential. Being the third flick from DCE, and the first one working from an original script rather than being a remake, is hardly original at all. I just remember it being more than a little bland and ripping off scenes from other (better) horror films. (A man is seduced by a sexy young woman, only for it to transform into a decomposed old hag. Ring any bells?) Still though, the opening is a satisfying frenzy of gore and death as all the crew and passengers are split in half by a cord, leaving one little girl alive. A gnarly opening indeed. I might give this a second viewing someday, but it's certainly going to be a while before I do, if I ever do.

[orchard blues]

Two things to note.
1) Dark Castle puts out some nifty posters.
2) Dark Castle seems to use 'evil' in every tagline.

[TokenGayPoster]

Two thoughts.

1. Thirteen Ghosts is a weird movie for me. It's so bad and yet it's hypnotically watchable. I watch it every time it's on TV (they aired it on AMC twice on Tuesday. I watched it 1.5 times.) And the lawyer slice was excellent.

2. Ghost Ship completely sucked except for the opening scene. Like Orchard said, one knockout sequence per movie.

[orchard blues]

Originally Posted by TokenGayPoster

Two thoughts.

1. Thirteen Ghosts is a weird movie for me. It's so bad and yet it's hypnotically watchable. I watch it every time it's on TV (they aired it on AMC twice on Tuesday. I watched it 1.5 times.) And the lawyer slice was excellent.

2. Ghost Ship completely sucked except for the opening scene. Like Orchard said, one knockout sequence per movie.

Yeah, it seems they've been showing Thir13en Ghosts and House on Haunted Hill back to back every night on AMC lately.

[King Broccoli]

The opening scene of Ghost Ship is one of the coolest sequences in the history of horror, too bad everything else is just shit.

[De4ective Detectiv3]

Really though, the opening scene in Ghost Ship was bad ***, its too bad the rest of the movie couldn't live up to that.

Not feeling the love for 13 ghosts though, the house and the character design were awesome, but other than that I just remember the movie being really loud.

As far as House on Haunted Hill goes, Rush, Famke, and Kattan were all awesome, and I loved the opening sequence in that movie as well, when the psycopaths kill the staff at the asylum. But I gotta say, when watching the movie in a theater, The Haunting was actually pretty good as far as FX go. Plus Owen Wilson gets his head taken off by some chimney sweeping contraption, what's not to love?

[orchard blues]

Happy Halloween everyone!

I'll be updated this throughout the day/night.

Gothika will be up soon.

[Gotherx]

Originally Posted by Admiral Cake

I'll admit to being a huge fan of House on Haunted Hill, Thir13en Ghosts, Ghost Ship, and House of Wax.

You know what common to this movies... They suck!!! The only genre where dark castle is at it's best is in action... Like Rock N' Rolla...